The truth about relationships is that many of them are
not fulfilling. The major requirement for a successful
relationship is that you love yourself. Only a few of us
love ourselves enough to enter into an intimate relationship
with someone else that deepens and evolves.
Almost all romantic relationships shift into love-need
These needs revolve around feeling secure,
supported, and loved, and they may be conscious or
unconscious for each individual. The more each partner
does not fulfill the other's needs, the more the
relationship becomes dysfunctional.
Often, one partner
feels their needs aren't being met and withholds or
withdraws. The polarities of opposition between the
two individuals are formed quickly and intensely, and
the positive views each partner had of the other are now
defined as negative characteristics.
These sessions teach both partners to examine
their individual needs and learn to listen and hold
the needs of the other as strongly as they hold their
own. To me, this is an act of LOVE.
As you both learn to value your partner's perspective as
strongly as your own and continue to hold both firmly, you
will soon find that the polarities that you have created
together will collapse, and you'll discover a new way of being
together that works for both of you.
Most of our intimate relationships are with people with whom
we have differences that become significant over time. Part of
the relationship enhancement process focuses on teaching each partner
to accept those differences. If you
cannot accept your partner's differences, those differences
become fertile ground to create negative,
A generalized key guideline is the 5-to-1 ratio. That means that if
you experience at least five positive interactions for every
one negative interaction, your relationship will be able to
grow and be healthy. The opposite is true as wellif you
experience five negative interactions for every one positive
interaction, your relationship is likely to experience difficulties.
The more negative interactions you experience, the greater the
chance for marriage difficulties. Furthermore, the longer you
maintain the negative interaction pattern, the more difficult it
becomes to change course. The more each
partner can learn to open their heart and hold their
partner's perspective as they hold their own, the more their union will